New Beginnings

A new year + a new decade + a new house = a new beginning/happiness.

Math was never a strong subject for me, but it is absolute. 2 + 2 will always equal 4. There is something comforting and finite about that, but for me it just does not compute. In grade school I was fantastic at Math. Junior high brought about more than social awkwardness and ridicule, it came with a particularly evil demonic presence known as Algebra. Some people will laugh at this and state that Algebra is just the bottom rung of mathematics, just the foundation of true scientific thought. To them I say, "Huh? I don't have time for this, Betty White is out there right now making some particularly slight, perversive comment that will both shock and amuse...I have no time for scientific thought."

The creative mind is a funny thing. People who live on a "scientific" intellectual plane tend to look down on those of us with more creative aspirations. This is as big a mistake as judging a book by it's cover. Not to pat myself on the back (believe me, that type of flexibility went out the window pounds ago), but I consider myself a fairly intelligent person. People who know me have gone a step further to say that I am an extremely intelligent person, but I do have a tendency to align myself with morons (you have no idea who you are), so that in itself might be explained. It takes a lot of forethought and creative energy to be funny. It also takes a lot of guts. It's a path that you do not tread lightly. I have never been one for hiking, so that explains why I have mostly ignored the trail.

The path that I have taken in life is closer to that of the moving walkway in Las Vegas. You have the same destination as those who choose to walk to the MGM Grand themselves, but you lose all opportunity to stray from the path. It's good in a way that it keeps you focused and if you are on a deadline or easily distractable you're likely to make it on time, but you lose all the joy and the fresh air. You lose all the life. The two worst things about the moving walkway, everyone goes the same speed and you lose all opportunity to stray from the path.

The speed thing is really only an issue for the people who are smart enough to think about it. If everyone goes the same speed then whoever got on first continues to be ahead. Now there are those people who get on and then speed walk past everyone riding along, knocking down both them and their packages, but let's be clear...those people are assholes. They are also ra-tards. They are driven enough to take a direct path, but not human enough to care.

Losing all opportunity to stray from the path is the consequence of your factual laziness to ride the damn thing in the first place. I can say this because I took this route. I can say that because I have ridden that path for years and have always been able to conveniently say that I would like to write, or be a comedian, or be anything other that what I am now, but...

So Pee Wee Herman shout out....Let's talk about my big but.

It has been many things over the years and frankly to mention them makes me reconsider them, so I will continue to leave those demons buried where they lie.

I have tried to figure out why my equation above should make sense, but I can never get the happiness part under wraps. Thanks to a great friend for showing me that I consistently leave myself out of the equation and in doing so I can never achieve what is finite and absolute. I have reached the end of the walkway, I now know that it is not for me. I am forging my own path and the view is fantastic...Viva Las Vegas!!!